White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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