:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
