then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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