Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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