Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
