Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
