he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
