i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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