that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
