Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
