I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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