I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
