Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We had to coat check the pizza.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
