dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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