He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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