dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
