so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
