I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
