I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
