Say something about gay babies.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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