my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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