I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
