Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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