I just made out with a guy for $7.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Boobs are out for the taking
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
