Already got asked if we're dating
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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