She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
