I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
