I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My day in three words: secret purse cake
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
