Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My pussy is not your playground.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
