all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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