I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
