Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
