Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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