508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I don't deserve a penis
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You were trust falling into bushes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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