i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
