So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
