I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
