i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
