I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
