you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
