ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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