I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
