Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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