OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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