i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
