4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
