i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
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