i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
