Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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