She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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