The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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