just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
