butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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