did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
