South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Randomize
