even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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