I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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