afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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