Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
