STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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