btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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