somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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