it wasn't lemon gatorade
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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