Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We just shotgunned beers for America
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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