i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
