You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
